I guess we spend life trying to figure whatever... whatever we want to do / whatever we are supposed to do. Is that what God wants us to do? so... if it is, will it be just pleasure to do it all the time? I don't know, i might be wrong, but my guess would be no. I have this feeling I took the red pill of matrix, and got to a place where i felt weak, I didn't wanna know reality, cause I couldn't change any of it, but I had no choice anymore. So... it was easy to live life pretending i got the blue pill, but inside is just missing something. What to do when you pretended for so long and you don't know what to do or want anymore? I wonder if God just wants me continue trying and finding out what I don't wanna do or i might be really deaf... both not very exciting...
"What has been our role in life? Most of us are living each others roles. We should know that or we assume our own roles, or we will be living highly frustrated, carrying in our hearts pains that are dispensable"
(RATNova - marriage)
and I do want to live mine...
